60 days

I spent a wonderful weekend with a really good friend of mine from college. I love her to pieces and would do anything for her. She has been there for me through thick and think and always has the ability to always remain calm, stick to her beliefs, does not beat around the bush in conversation and though we may oppose each other on our thoughts about politics and the way the world turns we remain great friends and continue to love each other for who we are as individuals. Who could ask for more in a friend?!

She left to go back home as quick as the weekend came. Logging onto my pregnancy website I realized I am now under 60 days until our third child comes. I questions alot of things in my life. What am I going to do? HA I think thats the golden question for most adults! She and I had a lot of great conversations that keep my mind in a tail spin of what the future holds for me. I have honestly forfeited the 5 year plans for my future and gave up on trying to plan for such life term goals. I honestly do not know what the future holds.

People at work ask if I am ACTUALLY coming back to work after I have our third child. I HONESTLY do not know! The only things that I have come to terms with myself that there are really certain priorities in my life that will lead to the roads of my future.

1. My family. First and formost my family always comes first! My husband, my kids, and my extended family ensuring their emotional well being, safety, and basic needs are my number one priority.

2. My job. I love my job I really do. I love what I do but do I do what I love? That is the questions that I have to revisit every so often. I have been feeling off the beaten path lately with so many avenues place before me of having another child, finishing my MBA in May, and my husbands career.

3. My emotional health. I really do need to start to take more time out for me, to meditate, to read the Bible, open a book , something that has nothing to pertain to my job, or family obligations. The chores can wait it what I mean. I will always stop reading for a late hug or kiss from one of the kids. Who could sacrifice an opportunity like that in their life? Just to take more time for me to relax and gather my thoughts into a journal or this blog.

So as I begin the countdown to the arrival of our third child, our first girl (still feels weird to have a girl!) I plan to begin to turn a focus toward the time I will have off with her, with my family, I dont have the answers as to what will happen after the next 60 days from when she arrives but I hope with an open mind and an open heart the answers will begin to come.