Mommy's Best "gift" this year.

Now that Christmas has come and gone and we all slump into the after holiday depression I finally have time to update my blog a bit more. My real Christmas present did not come to me on Christmas Day but rather a few days following. (Although I do love my new Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer!)

For sometime I have been wanting us to all go to church as a family. We did in the past and well when it came down to it either one of us were not comfortable in the church setting or environment for one reason or another. It was usually based on a conflict in principle of the church's teachings.

Saturday, December 27th 2008. I was successful in getting Joel to come to church with me at The Vineyard. As most of you may know Joel and I were both raised among different denominations. I was raised Catholic and he was raised by his grandmother as a Protestant-Baptist. If you know anything about the history of the two denominations it is often not the simplest to merry together into a common understanding. Joel and I both being science and engineer majors believed in reference. SO my boss, Dr. Burkhard told me about The Vineyard.

Bottom line was we were very impressed, we felt welcomed and comfortable. I dont think at any time I felt out of place. The best part was the kids loved it, Joel thought it was better than any other church we have been to together, and I felt comfortable as well. We will see how things turn out as time permits but it is one of my New Years Resolutions to get us going to church every weekend together, as a family.

The sermon that day could not have been more fitting to start the New Year and end 2008 with,

John 14:16-17
16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

All I could think about this morning as the boys were ravaging through their presents from Santa was how long it took me to wrap all of them and how fast it took them to unwrap them! Absolutely blew my mind.

6 months of shopping, 242 ties to unwrap from the packaging, 28 presents to wrap, 16 bows, 8 different kinds of wrapping paper, 4 bags of trash, 2 rolls of tape, and an endless amount of memories watching them undo all of my hard work!

So I havent blogged in a bit but you'll have to excuse me from the break because I was on jury duty for two weeks and ended up being selected to be on a murder trial. It was an interesting experience to watch how the court process goes and actually be behind the scenes and watch jury duty deliberations, I should say be a part of it. I honestly do not think I would want to do it again (like I have much choice) becuase I think an experience like that should be a once in a lifetime opportunity. It can take hold of your emotions and traumatize your thoughts for a few days I will not lie about it.

School starts again in a few weeks. I sucessfully completed last semester with three A's I am VERY proud of myself becuase it took a lot of time balancing and organization. I am very eager to get back into the swing of things after being out of work for so long. Joel is still doing well and has a doctors appointment about his leg in January. Noah has an eye doctors appointment coming up as well so we will see how his vision is progressing, hopefully changes are being made.

We are getting ready to go to the movies this afternoon. Grandma and Grandpa White are taking the boys to see Desperaux while Joel and I go next door and see Valkeryie. Then dinner is at Steak and Shake. I am just not in the mood to cook the traditional dinner today. There is alot of family coming and going today so we just made snacks and are settling on our Christmas dinner Saturday.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas Day remember that Jesus is the reason for the season!! Be sure to sing Happy Birthday to him!! and thank God for all of your blessings.

Merry Christmas Everyone!! Love you all!

"No Mommy, You Can't Come"

Last night Noah and I were sitting in a chair together reading our own books (I was reading John Grishams, The Appeal and he was "reading" one of my "How to Make Meetings Work" books for school/work. I reminded him after thirty minutes of sitting it was time for him to go to bed. He said okay. Ten minutes later he still was not on his way up to bed and was still 'reading' his book next to me. When I just looked over at him and said, Noah if you want to go to Jacks Birthday Party you have to go to bed.

(Jacks birthday party is the first non family party that Noah has been invited to. It is also what I see as my opportunity to finally get to meet the other preschool parents that will be in attendance. Jack, is actually one of the kids in his class that is younger than Noah so I feel that alone adds to the value of why they get along so well (maturity). )

Noah then turned and look at me and said, "But mommy you can't come". It nearly broke my heart when he said that. I told him, "Noah, that really hurts mommy's feelings, but if I can't come how are you going to get there?" He looked at me and said, "Hmmm, I dunno. Maybe daddy can take me. . . .?" I guess that is when the realization that my little boy was entering his growing up stage already. I thought I would have at least a few more years before I would ever hear the words that came from him last night but it just took me by surprise. I am sure he does not understand what he is really saying but he does, he even said it, "But I love you mommy." and off to bed he went.

Christmas In The Village

We almost boycotted our venture to see Christmas In The Village. Who could pass up Santa Clause, free cookies, arts and crafts, ice sculpting, listenting to the tunes of carolers and being in a Level 1 snow emergency with three inches of snow on the ground? Certainly not the White family!! (and they Keyser) So out we headed! Bundled up in hats, gloves, and jackets, we walked up hill both ways in the snow, no just kidding but we did skid a bit in the car, I mean truck. (Never call a truck a car it's the biggest insult to a mans pride).

We actually had a great time. Santa drove up in a firetruck ( I am so glad the kids are not expecting storyline ride in's such as Santa rides a sleight not a firetruck! yet!) The kids saw Santa Clause Noah rattled off four different colored power rangers that he wanted to santa clause, Morgan shrugged into his sheepish slyness and maintained his quiet stealth mode attitude, and Marshall was finally comfortable with sitting with Santa after the first two successfully survived the trip up to his lap, with out injury or trauma!

Then we walked back down the street and the kids made candy cane ornamets and popsicle picture frames with foam stickers. Then of course we could not have left the village without seeing the model train display. I can not get over the expressions on Morgan's face. He was all over the room with excitement. Due to his current vertical challenges he was walking on his toes the whole way around the track (it was up on a high table), pointing to the left, then to the right up and down and all around the track. It was almost like he never saw a train before! (He's seen 4 in the last month)

Then after we settled down and had a nice dinner. The kids remained behaved for the most part until we started to get into adult conversation and discuss tankless water heaters. I know it was such a cultivating conversation I think I heard gas or electric and tuned the processing switch in my brain off and reverted to yes honey!! Shhh the ultimate wife secret to appearing to be in the conversation!

Noah cried about his feet being cold but he still needs to learn that dancing in three inches of snow the snow eventually melts and turns to water. The water does not get warm as it melts either it stays rather cold. He will catch on some day. Sigh. . . kids they do the funniest things!

My life flashed before my eyes today.

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would
give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily
life too often as if we take our family for granted. ~Paul Pearshall

Joel went to the doctor this morning around 9am and by 10am he was calling me to let me know that he was on his way to the hospital because the doctor thought he had a blood clot in his leg. Joel as passive as he can be sometimes tried to play quiet to the extent of what this could mean and promised me that it was nothing. I on the other hand who had blood clots during my pregnancy with Morgan do understand the extent of what could happen if the clot were to dislodge itself and navigate to another point in his body. It is something that I tried so hard to not think about but all I could see was a life before me without my husband and being a single mom to two young boys.

This is the first time I have even thought such things about the possibility of growing old without my husband next to me. It scared me into a mad whirlwind of paranoia.

By noon Joel called me back and said that they let him go after doing an ultrasound on both legs at the hosptal. THey told him to then immediately schedule another appointment with his doctor first thing in the morning. They fortunately, did not find clots as the two doctors previously thought that he had. I am so thankfully they were wrong on that target. BUT there is still a problem and we will have to wait until we found out what is going on.

At the same time we found news of Joel's Aunt (has not seen them since he was 3ish) was diagnosed with an aggressive metastic cancer. Initially they thought that she was just having stomach problems but two months and 28lbs of weight loss later she was sent to the hosptial in a 'bus' and they found a large mass in her uterus. I had a gut wrenching feeling from my background in ovarian cancer research that she had a tumor or cancer somewhere in her reproductive system. I was sorry to admit that I was dead on with my hypothesis. The cancer has spread to her lungs and lymphnodes. This is yet another heart wrenching story of two people in love that are facing the possibility of losing each other due to this vicious growth. So please, keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Christmas guilt

Everytime I turn on the radio or listen to a blip of the news on TV it is always depressing to hear. Of course that is no different than any other day one would hear on the news but this time of year is especially hard. What makes it harder for me is the Christmas guilt that I am going through right now. When my presents started to fill a second closet I just thought to myself how ridiculous is this? Why am I getting more things for my kids that they dont need and other kids are going to be going without any on Christmas morning. So back to the store they are going. I held onto a few to donate to other families that need help this Christmas. But, I just had to think to myself. We are installing a train that goes around their room above their heads when they sleep at night, they are getting the VSmile Motion, and a new art set for their creativity. I have a few other small things but what more does a child need on Christmas morning other than to be with their family and develop memories of tradition and family that other families are not able to have. Is it not our responsibility as parents to mold our children into what the true value of an item is and not the commercialization of what the Jones' have next door? You just can not compete with happiness it is something that comes from inside individuals and remains there without a price.

Poor MoMo is sick today. So hubby is at home tending to his illness. I will tell you that trying to teach a two year old to puke into a bucket is extremely hard to do. Even though there was a bucket right next to him he would aim for the floor (thank goodness for hardwood!) or the couch (thank goodness for leather!). Needless to say Joel stayed home since I am only at work for one week this entire month, thanks to my civil duties to fill on being summoned to jury duty for two ridiculous weeks. Noah is turning into a lovable kid, almost too lovable. You would think he can't get enough hugs and kisses for one reason or another. I am sure it is just a stage but we are trying to embrace it with as much return as possible. I did learn that he is the kind of child that needs to be talked to and warned about upcoming changes or what we are doing that day or he is just the grumpiest little boy around. He is so much like his father it is unbelievable. Of course they do say like father like son. But, then why is Morgan so different? of course he still has time to change as well.